i know what she wants
i watch her work on some papers with writing that i would never understand, seeming not to pay attention to me
but she knows i am here
i am here because she brought me here
i am eating the food she had given me and sit by the warm fire
i am full but i didnt know when i would be able to eat again
i shoved more of the stew into me and choked it down
it was dark on the street corner where she found me and i was cold and hungry
she asked me if i wanted some of her food
she asked me if i wanted to sit by her fire
i said yes
and now i am here
i know why she asked me i understand what i will have to do
and i will do whatever she wants because she brought me in from the cold and fed me
she is looking up at me now and she stands
i have stopped eating while i was watching her and she noticed
it is time
she smiles at me and asks me how i feel
i try to smile back, good
she smooths my hair with her hand she tell me to follow her
i do
she led me down the hall to a bathing room were a warm bath waits there is still steam rising from it
a servent must have just filled it
she tells me to clean myself
that i will feel beter after
she shows me the scented soaps and shampoos
then she leaves me
i had not expected this
i didnt work on the street as some of the other girls did
i didnt know what was normal
but i didnt think this was it
i climb into the bath and clean myself as i was told
i do feel better
as i lay in the water i wonder about her
i wonder why she is acting so kind
she doesnt need to
not to get what she wants from me
i wonder if the kindness is not an act
i wonder what she will do to me when the kindness stops
but the warm water on my skin and the warm food in my belly makes me sleepy
i doze
when i wake she is standing over me calling to me softly with her hand on my shoulder
the water has grown cold
i climb out of the bath shivering and she wraps a towel around me
she holds me in the towel rubbing the cold from my arms as i begin to feel sleepy again
i lean into her it is hard to stand
she has finished drying me she holds a robe from me to wear
i put it on and follow her once again
she leds me to a darkened bedroom
now i know
she will take what she wants
she guides me to sit on the bed but then she produces a sleeping shift for me to wear
i take off the robe and put on the shift she turns her head and looks away
i dont understand
she tucks me into the bed as if i am a child and kisses me on the forehead running her fingers through my hair as she wishes me goodnight
then she leaves me again
sleep pulls at my body but my mind is still awake
i dont understand what she is doing
as sleep drags me down i wonder
i dont know what she wants
[Part 2]
[Part 3]
