Part 3

Ivy was frozen in front of me, not hugging me back, and unwilling to believe she'd heard me correctly.

I could see the warring emotions in the black pools of her eyes, and I was relieved to see Ivy was still in them. Her hunger hadn't won out yet.

I knew she was terrified that if she'd misinterpreted what I'd said, if she did something I didn't like, that we'd be right back at the beginning. We'd be right back to ignoring her nightly escapades, with her leaving pissed and returning satisfied but hating herself. Back to me constantly finding all her sore spots and pushing her buttons... mostly on accident. Back to her being afraid to touch me, thinking she'd frighten me away. Back to ignoring the elephant in the room.

It would kill her if I rejected her now.

As strong as she was- her sheer presence had saved my life more times than I could count- she was also surprisingly fragile. All the horrible things she'd endured in her life had worn on her, damaged her, broken her. And she'd learned to put up a wall of confidence and indifference to protect herself.

Piscary, damn him and may he burn in hell forever, had warped her mind. He'd forced her over so many years to equate blood with sex that she could no longer seperate them. When she did, she became the monster she feared she was. But he had been her master vampire, and she his scion. So, though she'd hated him, she'd loved him, too. He would beat her down, and she would go crawling back to him. Even when he'd been in jail, she had still had to cater to him.

All too vividly, I remembered one night when Ivy had come home, collapsing on our church's doorstep in so much blood I was afraid she was going to die in my arms. That bastard had raped her body as well as her mind, a fate terrible in and of itself, but on top of that he'd also blood-raped her. He'd taken her blood and forced her to do the same even when she'd told him no. He'd pushed her out of her blood-abstinence by blood raping her.

She attacked me at first, not out of malignance, but because she was out of her mind with fear and despair. I'd forced her from me with a burst of ley line energy, and she'd crumbled. I remember how I'd gotten her to the toilet, letting her throw up as much blood as she could get out, and then into the shower. I'd gone to make her cocoa, and when I'd returned I found her sitting on the floor of the shower, water coursing over her, crying as her blood swirled down into the drain. I had been too scared to do more than offer her a towel, which was just as well since she'd been ready to attack me again if I'd done more. And then she'd laid in bed while I stroked her hair, listening to her story before she'd fallen asleep.

I'd been afraid then... too afraid to do more for her.

And Rynn had only taken Piscary's place when Skimmer had killed him in a fit of passionate rage. The difference was that Rynn was amazingly personable -it wasn't a wonder that he'd been president during the years that marked the Turn. Or, he was, until you saw under his mask to the soulless undead beneath.

He pushed Ivy just as Piscary had. He just did it with more finesse.

It was my turn to protect Ivy in the only way I could. I owed it to her, after all the protection she'd given me, after all the wonderful gifts she'd bestowed upon me, and especially after she'd stayed beside me through everything I'd put her through.

"Rachel," her voice was shaky, and I could hear the fearful sliver of hope underlying my name as she spoke, "I should go to Rynn." I could still hear the hope, which meant she was beginning to reject the idea of needing her new master vampire.

I smiled, encouraging her. "You don't need him for anything," I tucked my head into the curve of her shoulder, purposely breathing across the small scars on her neck, moving my hands up to her shoulder blades to trap her in place.

I was trying to sound confident and bold, but I could feel my stomach twisting into a knot. A nauseating feeling had replaced the spent adrenaline from earlier, and I began to doubt what I was doing.

Too late now, you stupid witch.

Still breathing against her neck, I felt a small tremor run through her and then suddenly her hands were on my shoulders. She was beginning to shake, and I realized she was still fighting to keep her hunger in check. Why would she hurt herself like that for me? Stupid question, really, I already knew the answer.

"Ivy," I called to her, hoping to pull her from her thoughts while trying to keep my own unease in check. "I was so afraid..." My brow creased at the memory of her lying motionless in the snow. "I thought I was going to lose you."

She pushed against me, and my first thought was that she was about to run. Instead, she was searching my face as if looking for lies.

Hesitantly, she licked her lips, and I saw a hint of canine. I held back my shudder, but the slip of fang seemed to ignite something in my depths. "What are you doing?"

I almost didn't hear her, the quiet question nearly drowned out by the blood suddenly rushing in my ears. "What?" I lifted my eyes from her mouth, and leaned into her arms a bit more heavily than I'd meant to.

"Rachel-"

I knew that tone. She was acusing me! Dammit, what did she want out of me? Well, I suppose I did deserve it, constantly dropping hints and pushing her buttons only to reject her... why wouldn't she think I was doing the same thing I always did?

"-this isn't a good-"

I was losing her, I knew it. I could see a slight ring of brown around the immense black of her pupils. But I knew how hungry she was. And I knew I could manipulate her to any end I wanted... I just had to find the right button to push her over the edge.

"Bite me," it came out as a whisper, God help me, as if I were begging. I hadn't meant for it to sound like that. I was just trying to get her attention back on me. She needed the blood to fix her aura, and I was trying to give it to her. The least she could do was listen to me!

Ivy cut off her sentence abruptly and hissed as if I'd slapped her. To her, I might as well have. I hadn't pushed a button... I'd punched it.

"Please, Ivy, I want you to bite me..." That tentative ring of brown around her pupils had vanished, and back was my hungry vampire. Using that, I brushed my fingers across her neck as I moved my hand from her back. "...I'm not afraid anymore."

Her hands on my shoulders gripped harder, sending a spike of adrenaline through me. I made to grip one of her hands, but she moved faster.

Her grip was around my wrist, and she pulled to force me against her before I could realize what had happened.

"Rachel, I can't be the one to say no," she began, the fear still thick in her hucky voice. She was losing the battle against her hunger.

Flush against her now, I could feel her heartbeat, her steady but quick breathing, her comforting warmth. I'd once imagined what it would be like to slip in bed beside her when I'd overheard a conversation between her and Kisten. I'd wondered what it would be like to slip underneath her silk sheets and slide up against her back, to be able to smell her and see her smile as she rolled over to greet me...

Then, I'd been unsteady and unsure. Now, I felt something different race through my blood at the thought, and I heard and felt Ivy take in the new scent with her amazing vamp senses.

"I don't want you to say no," I managed weakly, realizing peripherally the pheremones Ivy had begun to pump into the air around us. It was an evolutionary trick, loading the victim up with feel-good feelings and making them more willing to consider the prospect of being bitten. They also turned the pain to pleasure... a useful tactic to keep your victims around (and conscious) for more than a bite.

One of her hands was at the small of my back, while the other was beginning to trace my jawline dangerously close to my unclaimed scar. She brushed it gingerly, sending an impossibly large wave of sensation through me.

I melted into her grip even as my knees buckled, my head going back to expose my neck invitingly. I might have collapsed to the floor except for Ivy's strength keeping me upright against her. My mind swirled with thought, but none of it made sense. All I knew was that I wanted Ivy's teeth in me, and I would die if she didn't do it soon.

She dipped her head close to my ear, her breath sending a lose curl to tickle my neck. "You give this to me?"

Shaking, feeling myself at the edge of a vast, unknown abyss, I nodded.

"Yes," I breathed.

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